Monday, June 04, 2007

The 100 Greatest SNES Games of All-Time

Sponsored by NEC's TurboGrafx 16 - We were on Video Power! Twice!

It's no secret that I'm a biased, cock sucking SNES fanboy. And I loved the NES, more than life itself. But the SNES perfected everything we were introduced to in the 8-bit era. The SNES controller was better than the NES controller. 16-bit graphics were better than 8-bit. The library was bigger and bolder. The games were deeper. The SNES could very well be the most timeless gaming system ever.

But something happened when the N64 was released. The controller was... different. The graphics were beautiful for its time, but fuzzy and blocky today, while 16-bit hasn't seemed to age that badly. While the games were deeper than ever, the library was extremely lacking. My point is, there will never be another system quite like the SNES. The 16-bit era will live on more vibrantly than any other gaming generation.

So I shall now present, my 100 favorite SNES games. This list is not scientific, and has been a constant work in progress. It has been in an ever changing state, and may be forever. It's hard to rank 100 of anything, but here they are... for the moment. If you disagree, that's awesome. It probably means your mom wasn't smoking blunts while your dad's brother was fucking her with you still in the womb.

100. Faceball 2000
99. Zoop
98. RoboCop 3
97. Battle Cars
96. Yoshi's Safari
95. Killer Instinct
94. Street Fighter Alpha 2
93. Judge Dredd
92. Beavis and Butt-head
91. Final Fight 3
90. RoboCop versus the Terminator
89. WWF Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game
88. Spider-Man and the X-Men: Arcade's Revenge
87. Front Mission: Gun Hazard
86. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters
85. Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers
84. Populous
83. Spider-Man & Venom: Maximum Carnage
82. Super Empire Strikes Back
81. Fatal Fury Special
80. Captain America & The Avengers
79. SimCity 2000
78. Fatal Fury 2
77. Street Fighter II: The World Warrior
76. Wild Snake
75. Super Tennis
74. Mortal Kombat II
73. Spider-Man: The Animated Series
72. Civilization
71. Super Return of the Jedi
70. Mega Man 7
69. Breath of Fire 2
68. Axelay
67. Arkanoid: Doh it Again
66. Super R-Type
65. Illusion of Gaia
64. California Games 2
63. Cool Spot
62. Harvest Moon
61. Front Mission
60. Mega Man X3
59. Final Fantasy Mystic Quest
58. Total Carnage
57. SimCity
56. Final Fight 2
55. Earthworm Jim 2
54. Battletoads in Battlemaniacs
53. Demon's Crest
52. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!
51. Super Star Wars
50. Mario Paint
49. Bust-a-Move
48. X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse
47. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
46. Wolfenstein 3D
45. Uniracers
44. Super Smash TV
43. Mega Man X2
42. Fatal Fury
41. NBA Jam Tournament Edition
40. Gradius III
39. R-Type 3
38. Mortal Kombat III
37. Shadowrun
36. Breath of Fire
35. Secret of Evermore
34. Super Bomberman
33. Doom
32. Sunset Riders
31. Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts
30. Earthworm Jim
29. ActRaiser 2
28. Secret of Mana
27. Phalanx
26. Tetris Attack
25. Donkey Kong Country
24. Final Fight
23. F-Zero
22. Super Punch Out!!
21. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
20. Star Fox
19. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
18. Pilotwings
17. Castlevania: Dracula X
16. Tecmo Super Bowl
15. Super Double Dragon
14. Mega Man X
13. ActRaiser
12. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
11. Earthbound

10. Contra III: The Alien Wars

16-bit Contra, baby! Ah, just a mere mention of the word "Contra 3" brings back sweet, fuzzy memories of warm afternoons with friends... blistered fingers... broken controllers... injured cats... mothers with black eyes... holes in walls... goddammit, FUCK YOU, RED FALCON. Fuck you.

9. Super Metroid

Metroid was awesome on the NES. It was made portable on the Game Boy, with great results. But Super Metroid defined every aspect of the series. When you were a cootie-fearing, comic book loving boy, Samus was one chick you could hang with.

8. Street Fighter II Turbo

There were Mortal Kombat kids, and then there were Street Fighter kids. Mortal Kombat kids were usually hyperactive Ritalin-popping smartasses who watched their 'Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Karate Club: Featuring Jason Frank as Tommy' VHS tape every afternoon. But us Street Fighter kids, we were different. We could appreciate a good fight. We knew sportsmanship. We could shake hands after a game. Yeah, we could also get into fistfights over Ken's fucking cheap uppercut. But Street Fighter II: Turbo still holds up as one of many gamers' favorite fighting games.

7. Super Mario Kart

I fondly remember the first time I played this... and totally wiped out my sister with a turtle shell. From that moment on, my life would never be the same.

6. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars

"MARIO?! RPG?!?! What the fuck is an RPG?", eleven-year-old me said aloud after reading his newest issue of Nintendo Power one rainy summer afternoon. This game breathed fresh life into the genre, with its quirky characters and timed-hits. Mario RPG is absolutely timeless.

5. Final Fantasy III

This is probably the RPG I've spent the most time with. Great gameplay, beautiful graphics and sound, and amazing story... even if I never really could make any fucking sense out of it. It's a dirty shame us Americans never got to see all of Siren's ass.

4. Final Fantasy II

No doubt, this one gets me the most nostalgic of the Final Fantasy games. To those who have yet to experience this masterpiece, what are you spoony bards waiting for? It's possibly the most well-balanced RPG you will find.

3. Chrono Trigger

Without a doubt, my favorite RPG ever. Even though I never really could wrap my mind around the story, that didn't stop the game from amazing me with the characters, battle system, graphics, and sound, and time traveling. I've always been a fan of time traveling, my interest undoubtedly sparked by the Back to the Future movies. And while time traveling and gaming had already come together in Sonic CD (the game's release was a fucking milestone in my life), Chrono Trigger actually made the concept work. Here's hoping a DS re-release and perhaps another sequel.

2. Super Mario World

Oh, Christmas '91, how I loved you so. I remember getting up and opening presents just like it was last week. The first few gifts I opened were great; a Ninja Turtles Party Wagon, a Fisher Price Little People farm... how could you top those? Why, with this: a Super Nintendo with Super Mario World. Well, the Super Mario World undies were great, too. And while Super Mario Bros. 3 will hold up as my favorite Mario game, nothing will top the list of SNES side-scrollers with Super Mario World.

Like you didn't see it coming...

1. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

Ah... A Link to the Past. This was the sequel we wanted with Link's Adventure. Traditional Zelda gameplay and view, amazing graphics, and sounds that could get you yearning for yesterday. Everything about this game blew my fucking mind. Everything. The Light / Dark worlds, the dungeons, the boss fights, and even seeing the rain, which seems so ancient by today's standards. I may never be able to choose between this and Ocarina of Time as my favorite Zelda game, but this one is a no-brainer as my favorite SNES game.

genesis sucks

1 comment:

Matthew said...

Super Metroid is number 1 and link to the past is 2. maybe if you simply confused their positions I could forgive you, but you put SM as 9!? You scum.