Friday, September 07, 2007

The Sharpie Conundrum

It's a strange phenomenon. I know, you don't know really what to make of it. It's weird. Don't worry in thinking that, because it is weird. Something compels kids to do this. Little Timmy is scared. Scared of what? I know you're thinking that. What is little Timmy scared of. What the hell is this little bastard thinking?

Look at him. He's in deep thought. What is he thinking about? What the hell is running through this young kids mind back in 1991? I mean, sure, look, he's got some paper in front of him with a pencil on it, but he's not thinking about work, if he was, he'd at least be holding the god damn pencil prentending to be doing something while his half retarded brain tries to figure out which one is the oldest sister in one of those brain teaser math problems teachers give to kids in order to watch them suffer. No no, he's thinking about what's most important in life. Video Games. See, I know what you're thinking you little fucker.

There you go. Thinking about an NES game. I knew it. He probably just got The Legend of Zelda yesterday and can't wait to show Joey it, because he's a dick like that. He likes showing off to his poor friends who can only afford to buy VCS games at a pawn shop. What an asshole. But what the fuck is that other thing? Is that a fucking marker? What the hell does a marker have to do with anything?

YOU COCK SMOKER! What the hell are you doing? I'm sure if you read this site, you've purchased an old NES or SNES game in the past 5 years. Kids seemed to have knack for writing their names on the games they owned. I seem to have at least 5 that have someones first or last name on them. One of them I'm almost certain appears to have a phone number on it. Here's the Double J Greater Gaming Sharpie Theorem.

Apparently, the writing of your name on the back or front of a NES game prohibits your friends from using the game on their system or stealing it for a test drive. It just further goes to show, kids were retards and the schools are doing nothing. It's why we have to have signs in front of schools to tell us kids are nearby so we don't run over them, because apparently, the complexity of a crosswalk is too much for a five year old to handle.